It takes quite a caliber of man to survive the Divided Sky audition process.

Sure, one has to hack their way through a few DS tunes and arrive approximately on time. Bathing optional. It goes without saying that the auditionee (?) should be reasonably if not fully dressed for the occassion, pants included. Bringing an instrument may also be "a good idea". Sure, many have tried. Many have auditioned well, pledged their allegiance to the DS cause and driven off into the night with a smile, a brand new CD or two of DS material "to learn for their next audition" and a supposed optimistic and excited attitude. As the tires screech and their vehicle erupts into the inky blackness, there is an unsettling feeling that creeps into the minds of the band as we smile and wave goodbye saying "see you next week". A feeling of grim realization that can mean only one thing: WE WILL NEVER SEE THAT HUMAN EVER AGAIN.

Much like Supermodels, expensive call girls and most governmental systems, perhaps it is in the nature of musicians to make lofty promises of commitment and dedication only to disappear without a trace and leave you with nothing more than your own shattered, limp-wristed dignity.

One man, however, did rise to the challenge. One man looked the music of DS square in the eye and said to himself a heroic and committed: "well, I guess so."

One man braved what modern science can only term as the "Bass Player Eating Vortex Right Down the Street From Divided Sky's Legendary Studio Surprise" or (technically as BPEVRDDtSFDSLSS). Many have failed where this one man has succeeded. His name: Kevin Mclaughlin. It is with great pleasure that we welcome Mr. Mclaughlin into the DS family as our new bass player. You may head here to visit his shiny and new member page.

Art Franklin has moved on to greener pastures and brighter vistas and we wish him much success after years of service, dedication, arboreal carnage and flaming wreckages. You may even get to see him on-stage with us at some point as DS administers a double bass aassault. Now wouldn't that be sumpthin'? Oh, and for you McLaughlin, welcome to being a marked man. You'll see.

We'll be showing our pale, pasty faces at this year's ProgDay and Prog in the Park Festivals. While we won't be performing, we will be hanging out selling merch, signing boobies and looking to chat about where it all went wrong. More info is available by looking at our schedule page. Lots of great performers at both festivals, so you have no excuse not to come down/up to see us!

ProgDay
Saturday September 2nd and Sunday September 3rd 2006
Storybook Farm
One Storybook Lane
Chapel Hill, NC 27516


Prog in the Park Day 1
Saturday October 7th
The German House
315 Gregory St
Rochester, NY 14620


Prog in the Park Day 2
Sunday October 8th
Water Street Music Hall
204 N. Water St
Rochester, NY 14604

Far not if you long to see us in action on stage again, as we are currently booking a series of showdates across the east coast, to be posted soon. Stay tuned!

What's better than watching Family Guy reruns or the horror classic "Mildly Irritated Scarecrow"? Watching the members of DS shamelessly demonstrate why there are no Emmys or Oscars over their fireplaces.

March your bootang over to the media page and check out our new video section. Demonstrations, guitar solos and subtle yet entirely bad comedy abound. We have more videos simmering on the stove, ready to be served up soon including interviews and commentary. Well, here's hoping that we uploaded the right videos. If the video starts and you see sexy sheep in frilly underwear, just kindly delete that from your hard drive.

Also, new reviews of "The Subtle Art of Failure" are posted in the press section of the Primer page! Check 'em out!

Due to an unfortunate confluence of events Divided Sky has been forced to cancel the gig at the Underground tonight. We apologize for any inconvenience caused by this; conversely, we take credit for any inconvenience alleviated by this. Some people knock over old ladies and baby carriages they're in such a hurry to get to DS shows! Some people enter catatonic states because they can't believe the awesome musicianship. Some people go home and break up with their girlfriends because the guys in DS are just too exotically sexy.

So believe us when we say it's better off this way. But don't fret, because there are other ways to get your DS fix. You can buy our shiny new CD, for example! In fact, you could buy a couple. Yeah, that's a good idea. You can go to our message board and post some insane ramblings in the hopes that we'll respond. You can call your favorite radio station and request they play them some Divided Sky. You can dust off your shrine to rising drum legend Jonny Chops. There are many things you can do... and in the near future there will be more, as we're working on some new surprises for our loving audience. So stay tuned!

Again, sorry for the last-minute cancellation... everybody enjoy your DS-free evening!

The kind folks at prog palace radio have decided to feature Divided Sky on their web radio broadcast this Saturday, May 13. the subtle art of failure will be played in its entirety, and we'll be in the chatroom fielding all the compaints. "Why does it sound like grandma screaming?" "Did you get permission from PETA before slaughtering that badger?" We'd better get used to it.

So tune in at progpalaceradio.com this Saturday from 7pm to 11pm EST. The album will start at 9, and is expected to run until at least 4:00am while we deal with power failures.

They said it couldn't be done. Some said it shouldn't be done. But we didn't listen, and now there is a new Divided Sky album for you to spend your allowance on.

Once again, Divided Sky puts the "die" in "dichotomy," as the CD release party was phenomenally successful and phenomenally diasastrous at the same time. Dying lights, failing power and exploding guitars all added up for an evening of unpredictable madness. But that same madness riveted the audience to their seats - or perhaps they were too scared to move?

Regardless, we had a great time, and are tremendously grateful to the RoSFest crew and everybody that came out to see us. Thank you all! RoSFest is still going on, and we're still there, so drop by our table to say hi (and buy a lot of stuff!). Our merch is selling like hotcakes, so get it while you can!

If you go to the commerce page, you'll notice that the subtle art of failure is now available for purchase via PayPal. That means that you, yes, YOU, can go ahead and buy it. Go on, don't be shy, now. You know you want it...

You can stop rubbing your eyes - unless your hands are made out of campaign promises you won't be able to see through them to see the bee-yoo-tee-ful NEW DIVIDED SKY WEBSITE. The Spectral colors got dropped like Britney's baby, and the site now sports the classy artwork from the soon-to-be-released album the subtle art of failure. Pretty nice, eh?

New features are still being developed, so the site will see some more updates in the near future. In the meantime, please check everything out and make sure it meets your satisfaction. Let me know if something's real broke, or if you have a suggestion for the new design. Or if you want to praise all of my hard work, feel free to do that too... or better yet, do it on the message board so all the ladies can see.

Of course, the very first thing you should do is head over to the media page and see if you notice anything different. I'll give you a hint - there's a new album there. With that album is a full track listing and full-length songs for free download. We're gonna release this sucker at the end of the week, so start yer drooling now.

Stay tuned for more exciting announcements and site updates. Things will be moving pretty quickly from here on out. First the site, then the space spores, then the world! Cobra La!

We are ridiculously excited to announce the Subtle Art of Failure CD RELEASE PARTY to take place during ROSFest 2006! Apparently all of our haphazard sacrificial ceremonies haven't been a waste of time after all! What better time to unleash our little monster (or our CD, for that matter) than during this prestigious and star-studded festival? We've been graciously given a big ol' 90-minute set during the Friday night afterparty, and we'll use that time to showcase our chops, our Chops, and possibly our chaps. So mark your calendars: on Friday, April 28th at 11:30pm Divided Sky will formally release our second full-length album to you, the unprepared listener, in a musical barrage that is guaranteed to make you wish you had worn your Depends. You'll need to buy a CD just so you can use the liner notes to wipe away the carnage... In a good way. So don your best clothes from two years ago and party like it's 2004. Here is the official release:

=====================================

Rosfest Post Party Friday Night Bash
Divided Sky CD Release Extravaganza

Friday April 28th 2006
11:30PM
21+
$10.00
Jester’s Sports Bar
2080 Bridge Street
Phoenixville Pa 19460
610-935-7141

Pennsylvania’s progressive rock/metal miscreants Divided Sky have chosen the Rites of Spring Festival Friday Night Bash Post Party as the place to unveil for the first time anywhere their brand new sophomore album “The Subtle Art of Failure”. Delivering intelligent, divergent hybrid-rock that is both unconventional and unpredictable, Divided Sky will take the stage at 11:30PM to deliver an electrifying live performance in support of the new album. Expect surprises aplenty with tons of freebies, giveaways and diabolical tomfoolery, not to mention the chance to be one the first living entities to get a shiny new copy of the jaw-dropping, pants-exploding goodness of "The Subtle Art of Failure!"

This CD release party will be the perfect wrap-up of the first night of the three day Rites of Spring Festival, an annual progressive rock celebration held at the Colonial Theater in Phoenixville Pennsylvania.

You best go get your heart medication because DS has TWO huge news updates in one single day (which in itself is huge news, so really we have THREE). Yes, it's hard to believe. Just remember to breathe.

First of all, as any one who's been paying any kind of attention already knows, Scott has left Divided Sky. There was no knifing, no on-stage fisticuffs, no gnashing of teeth (well, maybe a little gnashing). It was simply time for Scott to move on to other musical projects. In fact, he has already assembled one such project HERE which is currently going strong and will probably defeat us in single combat easily. We wish him the best, and reserve the right to say either "we told you so," or "oh god please take us with you" depending on how the future turns out.

Now, you're probably thinking "that kinda means you don't have a drummer, and you have all these shows and stuff coming up and oh no what are you going to do?!?!" Well, we were thinking that too (at least that's what we were thinking months ago when this all happened), until one day Jonny "Chops" Henrich came to a rehearsal and beat the crap out of his drums for us. After we recovered from the shock of somebody else actually showing up to a rehearsal, much less wanting to throw their lot in with us, we quickly welcomed him into the Divided Sky fold. Here are some Quick Jonny Chops facts:

• He is a crushing drummer - His drum heads are more battered than a Waffle House griddle
• Jonny is a fightening fellow to watch as behind the kit as he beats more skins per minute than the combined prowess of Gene Simmons and Wilt Chamberlain. Expect an entertaining show, as Jonny certainly isn't afraid to put everything he has into his performance.
• He's good with the ladies, so maybe we'll have a go at this rock n' roll lifestyle before our ventillators give out.
• He now has an official Divided Sky member page! Check it out, before it checks you out.

Our other news update is too big to fit under this headline, so scroll up a little.

New performance dates have been announced for Divided Sky! Check out the new live dates HERE.

We are in the process of a major overhaul and mega update to the Divided Sky website. Ready your pants for new content, new announcements of upcoming live performances, new pictures and most importantly, NEW MUSIC!

After an unheard of 20 month gestation period, we have finally popped out album number two. Last week the completed mixes were Fed-Ex'd to Rare Form Mastering in Minneapolis, MN. In the capable hands of engineer Greg Reierson, this thing will sound huge and be well worth the wait. We are currently in the process of revamping this website to coincide with the release of the album as well as rehearsing our butts off to prepare the ol' stage legs again. New music, new performances and new faces (!) are all forthcoming so be patient. After all, failure is such a subtle art.

Yes, we thought that the newest album would be available by this fall. yes, we are liars. We have been working, and I have oodles of good news to share with this news update. Without fail, the second full length Divided Sky album will be available within the beginning of 2006. That's good, so we and all of you can bring in the New Year with a bang. I also want to proudly announce that the album does have a title: "the subtle art of failure". This is also good, except that there is many an ironic truth in this moniker alone. Keep your eyes peeled, as newer, more exciting mp3 clips are on their way. Its crushing stuff...really.

We have also made an allegiance with the remarkable Tim Paulsen and the folks at EarCandy Cabs. I just received my custom made matched EarCandy Sovereign 1x12 cabinets and they are truly amazing. Head over to this link at the EarCandy site to see some great pics of them. Thanks Tim!

So stick around, peoples. There will be some car-a-zee things happening in the next few weeks. New album, DS burning down local villages again and rumor has it that there may be some new faces helping us to light the molotov cocktails. We'll have to wait and see...

In an uncharacteristic hurry to provide new music in a hasty and accessible fashion, Divided Sky has finally posted clips from the brand new album to be released this fall. The clips are but a mere tasty smattering of what we have in store for album numero dos. Getcher' booty over to the Media page and take a lil' listen.

We are now in the process of mixing the album so that even the most unattentive listener will be able to marvel at the subtle sounds of Scott's custom made trashcan-lid kit as well as the gentle warble of the giant man-eating sea squids in several of the song choruses. Mmmmm-mmm.

No, we didn't dissolve back into the sea foam we were formed from - we're still kicking and we've got something of a news item to share. As of tonight, with the recording of the best solo you will ever hear in your life, Divided Sky is (basically) done tracking album number 2. Why basically? Well, you can't ever rule out our capacity to inflict more work upon ourselves. Our next step is to take a fresh listen to it and see if we missed anything, or if we feel the inescapable desire to add that choir of burning cats to yet another section of music. But, speaking from my own unbiased and perfectly sane opinion, I think we're done and I think it sounds kick-effing-ass.

With that, I'm off to a much-needed vacation where I will do my best to not think about anything music-related. Mostly because all my attention will be needed to fend off the swarms of lake sharks, but also because we've been working on this crap for over a year and I need to detox. When I get back we'll begin mixing and getting the album to you, the weary, tortured listener.

In the meantime, look for some site changes to take place in the near future, and... *GASP*... wait for it... NEW SOUND CLIPS. Yes! We will be posting rough mix excerpts from our work-in-perpetual-progress. As for the album, we don't have a title for it yet, but we have some ideas... think B-List farm animals. Then you'll be thinkin' like Divided Sky.

Divided Sky is now a charmed endorsee of the US Music instrument, amplifier and accessory family of manufacturers. This includes Parker Guitars, Washburn Guitars, Randall Amplification, Eden Electronics, Soundtech, Oscar Schmidt and Vinci Strings. Talk about a one stop shop for all of your musical needs. Together, these entities are sure to cause immense chaos in the very near future, should the DS boys put all their new gear to use and finish the sophomore album already!

One would think that the album is being delayed due to stringent quality control or general laziness. No, no, the DS vision is much greater than that. Upon hearing Divided Sky's ongoing side-plans for constucting a "Nu-cu-lar Laser Death Ray Machine Gun Blaster capable of legendary levels of earthly destruction", US Music was all too eager to welcome DS to the family. The band is still awaiting comment from Microsoft, Clear Channel and the United Nations.

Thought you were clever, didn't you? Well, this news update proves that Divided Sky did indeed escape your nefarious plot to destroy us with that kooky weather machine. And what's more, while you were resting on your insidious laurels, smugly gloating over our wretched demises, we were hatching our own plot for revenge: our second album, which promises to cause you unknowable sonic suffering. And there's nothing you can do about it!

That's right, Divided Sky is still kicking, and still trying to record an album. We're making delightful, if not fast, progress and are quite pleased with our tentative results. We've been taking out time with this one, and it's allowed us to come up with some great ideas that we may not have had otherwise. It's also allowed us the opportunity to avoid the needless stress of social life (who needs it!) and personal hygiene (although who's to say that wouldn't have happened anyway?). So believe us when we say we want this album out just as much, if not much much more than you do. We're doing our best to ensure that our original projected release date remains as far in distant memory as possible so that you'll accept our new tentative release date of springtime 2005. Did it work?

We realize we've neglected our web audience here, and we're working on some treats for you. Soon we'll try to put up some more pictures from the recording sessions, and if you're lucky you'll get to hear some of our better musical clips and outtakes *shudder*. If we're lucky the world will explode before that happens. But, as we all know, Divided Sky is anything but lucky.

Check back soon for some goodies, and please stop using that weather machine. It rains every damn gig.

Thought we were just sitting on our thumbs twiddling our butts, didn't you? Well you've just been proven horrendously, embarrassingly wrong by the addition of studio pictures and a studio diary that chronicles our misadventures in recording. We couldn't make this stuff up. Check it out and cry for us.

Also, the forum should be fixed now. So post some naked pictures of yourself there just to make sure it's working okay

As promised so long ago we have entered the venerable (and vulnerable) Hidden Creek Studio to record our second full length album. But what kind of progress are we making, you ask? Well, it's a secret. For now. Soon, you will be able to look into our deepest souls and truly understand the inner workings of the minds of Divided Sky (hint: think video games) when we post our studio diary on this very website. Then you too will know exactly what we're up to, moreso even than we do. Look for it in the next couple of days when I've had a chance to finish coding it up.

In other news, in case you're wondering our forum is having a few problems. You see, we get so much fan mail that our inboxes clogged up all the disk space on our server, and caused innumerable (at least two) problems. The repercussions are severe, in that sometimes error messages will come up when trying to post something to the DS board. Also, expect earthquakes. Hopefully these issues will be cleared up soon. Then there will be no earthquakes, and no displacements. Get it? That's an inside joke. For me.

Well, as we emerged from our dimly-lit rehearsal space (read: Video Game Lair) we learned that not one, not two, but a lot of days have passed since entering to perfect our wicked craft. It was then we decided to start working on our album material. And now it is nigh ready to be committed to tape, and the day when you will hear new DS material is just around the corner. No, not the guy with the enormous knife... behind him. Yeah, right there. Waiting for you.

So we will enter the "studio" (read: Video Game Lair 2) in about a week and begin to try to hack our way through the material that we've put together. What is this material, you may ask? Well, some of it you may have heard; some of it nobody, I mean nobody, has ever heard. Including us. There should be plenty of pleasant surprises for all you (and us) salivating fans out there. And for all you haters, well, don't hate the playas, hate the game.

Actually, in our excitement we've actually written too much material. So we're now evaluating our options as to what to do with all the extra stuff... double album? Album and then EP? An album for every song? Play everything twice as fast? The jury is still out... let us know what you think on our bee-yootiful Message Board and we'll do it, because we're whores.

Happy New Year, all. We have begun work (playing video games and eating pizza and comparing volume and duration of body noises is tremendously difficult labor) on what will become the band's second full length album to be released sometime in the spring/summer of '04. Its proving to be quite a different beast than the first album, and will cater more to our short musical attention spans while serving up healthy doses of our familiar brand of musical mirth-making hated the world over. While the length of the new album is yet to be determined, the sheer volume of material may dictate a double disc release. Then again, some of the songs which we have toiled away at without relief for a good 20 or 30 minutes may never see print, such as the epic masterpiece "Dragon Master: Wings of Flaming Sorrow" or the bittersweet ballad "Who Left Blood on the Corpse Grinder?".

A double CD would make purchasing the album a bargain for folks who like to drink two drinks at once, but dont want to leave unsightly moisture rings on their expensive tables.

We'll keep you updated on our progress, subsequent delay, postponement and ultimate fruitless failure as we try to commit these tunes to tape for all the world to mock. So forward we march, and with a fine attitude to boot.